Mood Regulation

Being present in the moment, without judgment.

Wise Mind

The place where your reasonable, logical side and your emotional side overlap. Not ignoring emotion, not ignoring logic — the part of you that knows what's true underneath both. Most of these skills are ways of getting back to it.

Observe

Notice what's happening right now — inside you and around you — without pushing it away or grabbing onto it. Just watch it come and go.

Describe

Put words to what you noticed. "I'm feeling my jaw tighten." "I'm having the thought that this is unfair." Stick to facts, not judgments.

Participate

Throw yourself all the way into what you're doing right now, instead of half-doing it while your mind is somewhere else.

Non-Judgmentally

Notice what's happening without labeling it good, bad, right, or wrong. Just what is — facts, not verdicts.

One-Mindfully

Do one thing at a time. When you're doing it, you're doing it — not half-doing it while planning your next argument or scrolling your phone. One thing, fully, then the next thing.

Effectively

Do what actually works, not what "should" work or what proves a point. Focus on your goal in this moment, not on being right.

Getting through a hard moment without making it worse.

Self-Soothe

Use your five senses to bring comfort — a warm drink, music, a soft blanket, a candle, a photo that calms you. Small, deliberate kindness to yourself in the moment.

IMPROVE the moment

Make the moment more bearable, even if the problem isn't solved yet.

IImagery — picture a place or memory that calms you

MMeaning — find a purpose or lesson in it, even a small one

PPrayer — or whatever connects you to something bigger than the moment

RRelaxation — loosen your body, slow your breath

OOne thing in the moment — bring your full attention to right now, just this

VVacation — give yourself a short break, even 5 minutes

EEncouragement — talk to yourself like you would a friend

TIPP — for when it's a crisis

Fast-acting, physical, for when emotion is at its peak.

TTemperature — cold water on your face, or hold ice

IIntense exercise — 60 seconds, jumping jacks or running in place

PPaced breathing — make the exhale longer than the inhale

PPaired muscle relaxation — tense a muscle, then let it go

STOP — for the first few seconds

SStop — don't move, don't react yet

TTake a step back — physically or mentally

OObserve — what's actually happening, inside and out

PProceed mindfully — act on your goal, not the urge

ACCEPTS — distract on purpose

For when you need to get through a moment, not solve it right now.

AActivities — get your hands and mind busy

CContributing — do something for someone else

CComparisons — think of a time you got through something hard

EEmotions — put on a song or video that stirs a different feeling

PPush away — set it aside in your mind for a bit, on purpose

TThoughts — fill your mind with something else, count, read, a puzzle

SSensations — something pleasant and strong, a favorite scent, a warm shower

Half-Smile

Unclench your jaw. Drop your shoulders. Let your mouth soften into the smallest hint of a smile — not fake-happy, just not braced for a fight. Your body can change how it's holding a feeling before your mind catches up.

Radical Acceptance

Fully accepting reality as it is right now — not agreeing with it, not liking it, not giving up on changing the future. Just stopping the fight against a fact that's already true. Fighting reality doesn't change it, it just adds suffering on top of pain.

Turning the Mind & Willingness

Acceptance isn't usually a one-time decision — it's a turn you make, over and over, every time your mind swings back to fighting reality. Willingness means doing what the moment actually needs, instead of willfulness — crossing your arms and refusing, even when it costs you.

Understanding and working with your emotions instead of being run by them.

Identify & Label

Name what you're feeling as specifically as you can. Not just "bad" — angry, embarrassed, disappointed, scared. The more specific the label, the more manageable it gets.

Check the Facts

Ask whether the size of your reaction actually fits the facts of the situation — or whether it's fitting the story your mind is telling about it. If it doesn't fit, that's worth knowing.

Opposite Action

When an emotion's urge doesn't fit the facts or isn't helping you, act the opposite way on purpose. Feel like isolating from fear? Reach out instead. Feel like snapping? Speak softly.

PLEASE — reduce the vulnerability

Emotions get harder to manage when your body's already running on empty.

PLTreat PhysicaL illness — don't push through being sick

EBalanced Eating — not skipping meals, not overdoing it

AAvoid mood-Altering substances

SBalanced Sleep

EExercise

Accumulate Positive Emotions

Deliberately build good moments into your days and your life — small ones daily (a call with a friend, music you like) and bigger ones long-term (working toward something that matters to you). Positive emotion doesn't just happen to people, it gets built in on purpose.

Build Mastery & Cope Ahead

Build Mastery: do something that makes you feel capable — even something small and hard, like a chore you've been avoiding. Confidence gets built by doing, not by waiting to feel ready. Cope Ahead: before a situation you know will be tough (a hearing, a hard conversation), picture it in detail and rehearse how you'll handle it, so you're not figuring it out for the first time in the moment.

Mindfulness of Current Emotion

Let the emotion move through you like a wave — rising, peaking, and passing — without pushing it away and without acting on it. You're not stuck with a feeling forever; most emotions, left alone, pass on their own in minutes if you don't feed them.

Asking for what you need and keeping your relationships and self-respect intact.

DEAR MAN — asking for what you need

DDescribe the situation, just the facts

EExpress how you feel and what you need

AAssert yourself — ask clearly, don't hint

RReinforce — say what's in it for them

MMindful — stay on topic

AAppear confident — tone and eye contact

NNegotiate — be willing to give a little

GIVE — keeping the relationship

GGentle — no attacks, no threats

IInterested — actually listen

VValidate — show you get their side

EEasy manner — a little humor, no pressure

FAST — keeping your self-respect

FFair — to yourself and to them

AApologize — only when you're actually wrong, not out of habit

SStick to your values — don't cave to please someone

TTruthful — no exaggerating, no playing helpless